The Eleventh Commandment: Thou Shalt Be Nice (And Forget the Other Ten)
Voddie Baucham once said, “The Eleventh Commandment is, 'Thou shalt be nice’… and we don't believe the other ten.” And if that doesn’t punch today’s soft, feelings-first, spine-optional Christianity right in the teeth, I don’t know what will.
We live in a time when tone is more important than truth, and “niceness” has become the golden calf of Christian virtue. It doesn’t matter if you’re biblically correct—if you weren’t sweet enough, smiling enough, or sufficiently squishy with your words, then clearly you’re “unloving.”
Let me break the news gently, in the spirit of the Eleventh Commandment: That’s nonsense.
Niceness ≠ Holiness
There’s a difference between the fruit of the Spirit and the fear of confrontation. Being gentle, patient, and kind? Biblical. Bending the truth to avoid discomfort? Cowardice.
Somewhere along the line, we confused “meekness” with “never offending anyone.” But the real Jesus flipped tables. The real Paul rebuked Peter to his face. The real prophets got chased out of town for speaking the actual words of God—not because they lacked empathy, but because they had spines.
The goal of the gospel is transformation, not tolerance. Christ didn’t come to be nice—He came to be true. And sometimes truth stings.
When Niceness Becomes Idolatry
If your ultimate goal is “being nice,” you’ll never call out sin, you’ll never defend the gospel, and you’ll definitely never survive the book of Galatians.
You’ll reduce Christianity to slogans and sentimental memes.
You’ll ignore Jesus’ call to take up your cross in favor of “don’t rock the boat.”
You’ll apologize for Scripture instead of proclaiming it.
And worse, you’ll start caring more about feelings than faithfulness.
Truth Without Love is Harsh—But Love Without Truth is Hollow
Yes, we’re called to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). But that doesn’t mean love is defined by how pleasant it feels. Sometimes love says hard things. Sometimes love wounds (Proverbs 27:6). And yes, sometimes love offends.
It is possible to be kind and clear. But when it comes to the gospel, clarity must never be sacrificed on the altar of comfort. If we trade truth for tone, we’re not being Christlike—we’re being compromised.
The Rotten Fruit of “Nice” Culture
One of the worst side effects of this “be nice or be quiet” culture is that we’ve lost the ability to deal with ideas without attacking people. Everything is personal now.
Disagree with someone? You must hate them. Call out a false teacher? You’re “divisive.” Take a stand on sin? You’re “judgmental.”
It’s no wonder we can’t have adult conversations anymore. We’ve trained a generation to believe that being disagreed with is the same as being persecuted.
Real maturity means we can debate doctrine without destroying each other.
Let's Recover Gutsy, Gracious Christianity
We need men and women in the church who are full of grace and truth (John 1:14). Who know how to weep with the broken and also rebuke the wolves. Who can hug the repentant and call out the heretics. Who refuse to weaponize tone but also refuse to cower behind it.
The world doesn’t need more nice Christians. The world needs faithful ones.
Christ was not crucified for being polite. He was crucified because He spoke the truth, lived the truth, and was the truth—and the world couldn’t stand it.
So no, the Eleventh Commandment isn’t real. And if it’s the only one we live by, we’re going to forget the ten that actually matter.
Let’s be bold. Let’s be biblical. Let’s speak the truth in love.
Even if it’s not nice.
Thanks for reading.
