And no, He didn’t tell you to marry her just because she’s hot and can quote Philippians out of context.
Let’s go ahead and rip the band-aid off: just because you slapped “God told me” on it doesn’t mean God was anywhere in the room.
Christians have developed this strange superpower to spiritually gaslight themselves. You’re dating a controlling, manipulative mess of a person who drags your soul through emotional barbed wire, but hey – "God is working on them." Sure, Jan.
Worse? You married them because you thought "God was testing your patience," or maybe you had a dream after eating expired Taco Bell and confused indigestion with divine revelation.
Let me tell you a couple stories.
I. "God Told Me My Wife Would End Up On My Doorstep"
So there’s this guy. Let’s call him Caleb. Because of course his name is Caleb.
Caleb dated a girl for three months. It was a disaster. She ghosted him. Blocked him on socials. Got a restraining order. Classic modern romance. But instead of taking the loss like a normal person and repenting for whatever creep-level behavior triggered DEFCON 1, Caleb gets alone in prayer and comes out declaring:
"God told me she would be my wife, and that one day she’ll show up on my doorstep, ready to obey His call."
My brother in Christ, she isn’t Ruth and you aren’t Boaz. She’s not coming to your field, and if she does, it’s to file paperwork.
What you’re experiencing isn’t prophecy. It’s delusion, with a little bit of idolatry and a whole lot of narcissism.
II. "The Lord Is Speaking to My Bride Right Now…"
And then there’s Evangelist Randy. He’s speaking at a revival night. The fog machine is going, someone in the back is waving a flag, and it’s all very holy in a chaotic kind of way. Right in the middle of his message, he stops.
He puts the mic down for dramatic effect. Looks out over the crowd with squinted eyes and declares:
"The Lord just spoke to me. My bride is in this room. If you’re her, stand up now. We’re getting married TONIGHT!"
And someone actually stood up.
They got married right there on stage. People cheered. Angels facepalmed.
A year later? Divorced. She’s in therapy. He’s back on the circuit doing prophetic Tinder swipes in Jesus' name.
III. God Is Not the Author of Your Chaos
Let me say this clearly: God is not going to endorse sin to satisfy your emotions.
If your relationship is built on manipulation, control, lust, lies, or emotionally coercive spiritual language, God did not bless that.
“For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality.” (1 Thessalonians 4:3)
The will of God is your holiness. Not your hookups.
Not your emotionally toxic on-again-off-again relationship where you both pretend it’s a ministry just because you posted matching Bibles on Instagram.
Not your situationship where you end every argument with, “God is growing us through this trial.”
No. God calls you to purity, clarity, and sanctification.
IV. Stop Using "God Told Me" as a Trump Card
This phrase has become the Christian version of "Because I said so."
It’s the perfect shield against accountability. How do you argue with someone who says, "God told me"?
Well, here’s how: You test the spirits.
“Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God…” (1 John 4:1)
God’s voice will never contradict His Word.
So if “God told you” to stay with someone who’s leading you into sin, He didn’t. If He “told you” to marry someone who has no fruit, no discipline, and no submission to Christ, He didn’t.
You know who told you? You.
V. Sanctification > Romantic Salvation Fantasies
Some of y’all think you're Holy Spirit Cupid. You see red flags and think they're prayer requests. You think your love can sanctify someone who doesn't even know Jesus' last name (spoiler: it wasn't Christ).
Let me bless your theology: You can't sanctify your significant other.
“He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion…” (Philippians 1:6)
HE began it. HE completes it. You’re not the potter. You’re barely the clay.
Your job isn’t to save them. Your job is to walk in holiness, pursue relationships marked by mutual submission to Christ, and RUN – not walk – away from dysfunction dressed up in spiritual language.
VI. A Better Way: Relational Holiness
Let’s stop spiritualizing our sin and start sanctifying our relationships.
Ask the hard questions:
- Does this relationship make me more like Jesus?
- Is there accountability, not just chemistry?
- Is our connection built on biblical covenant or emotional chaos?
“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness?" (2 Corinthians 6:14)
You don’t have to be perfect. But you do have to be submitted.
Your dating life isn’t a rom-com. It’s a reflection of your walk with God.
So walk in truth. Break up if you have to. Get counseling. Seek discipleship. Repent if you’ve been out here playing prophet while living in compromise.
VII. Final Word: God Is in Your Sanctification, Not Your Excuses
He didn’t tell you to marry her on a whim.
He didn’t whisper that your toxic ex is your Boaz.
He didn’t call you to build a future with someone who won’t build an altar.
He called you to be holy.
That’s it.
So next time you hear someone say, “God told me she’s my wife,” maybe ask them:
"Did He also tell you to get accountability, walk in sexual purity, and stop emotionally manipulating people?"
Until then, let’s stop blaming God for the chaos we created and start walking in the clarity He actually offers.
Because His will isn’t mystery.
“This is the will of God: your sanctification.” (1 Thess. 4:3)
And no amount of romance, revival, or ring-by-spring anointing changes that.
Thanks for reading.
